Upsidownistan

How do you solve a problem like Nigeriaaa? I think the first step would be to define it. So, how do you start to define Nigeria? When you understand it as a land where nothing happens the way it should you will have some clarity, and then patience. Here are some examples, excuse my generalizations.

  • In the west, poor people typically eat lower quality food than rich. Organic food is more expensive than processed food. In Nigeria, you start off eating organic food fruits and vegetables because they’re affordable, or you probably grew your food as a rural dweller. As you move up the economic ladder, you acquire a taste for foreign food which is mainly processed, inorganic or filled with preservatives for long shelf life.

  • Poorer people ‘trek’, to save costs and are they’re generally able bodied and fit. Richer people get driven around everyday and typically get very little physical activity, except for the handful intentional about exercise and fitness.

  • The elite around the world are supposed to be models of good behavior, typically restrained or almost invisible in public, patrons of the arts, and charged with raising the overall consciousness of people in the society. In Nigeria most of the elite are crass, treat people like trash, and even with all their foreign exposure, model the most disgraceful behavior in public, because they can and do get away with it. Quiet philanthropy? Try ostentatious displays of wealth and privilege.

  • In America you find the natural hair movement as people become more conscious and upwardly mobile. On average in my experience women comfortable wearing their natural hair are typically more educated, accomplished and have a stronger sense of self. In Nigeria, the working class women wear mainly natural styles, as they are more affordable but swap these out for more weaves and wigs as they grow financially and move up the ladder. I even heard a college educated girl say, “do you expect me to have my natural hair at my wedding?”.

  • People who offer services on sharing economy platforms like Uber and Lyft, want you to do offline trips without realizing that the only reason you want to trust a stranger on the internet is because of the safety of having a platform monitoring your interaction and transactions.

  • There are limits to how much cash you can get over the counter at the bank, and when you do get your measly N10,000 or N20,000 it comes in dirty tattered notes, but when you go to a party on the weekend, money changers have hundreds of thousands of “mint” Naira, ready to sell to you, plus a commission of course.

These days I call it “upsidownistan”, the land where most things are upside down of what they ought to be.