"She was great" I said, when asked about my last relationship "but that was as far as we could go."
Dating as a teenager or in my early twenties, all that mattered was finding someone I liked who liked me too. The future was some far away place I wasn't too worried about yet.
At 16, I remember listening to my girlfriend making plans, "when you graduate university i'll be in final year, when you're serving i'll be in law school" and wondering at the time why she was even thinking that far ahead. I definitely wasn't.
Ed de bono's article brilliantly describes the concept of something being great, but still not 'good enough'. Before coming across it in a lecture, I had struggled with expressing this thought fully.
As an adult getting to know someone romantically, other things besides how I feel start to matter almost as much. Feelings might be great now but, can this work over the long term?
How do they fit in with my - personality, habits and interests? - idea of an ideal lifestyle, not just the one i'm living at this point in time? - family and friends? what about their family, and friends? - values and the things i really believe in?
Any of these could be excellent but, especially if you think of marriage as a lifetime commitment, is that really enough?